If you are still in the early stages of your pregnancy, possibly before 7 weeks the crying attacks may not have reached you yet. But, get ready for them, they have no sense of embarrassment or appropriate timing, they come whenever they want a bit like your unwelcome and damn right rude aunty! Yes we have all got one, but for you at the moment it is going to be the ‘crying aunty’ that turns up whenever she likes.
As part of my job I teach my students all about a system in the body called the Endocrine System. It is the one that controls the release of hormones in our body. As we move through the week by week stages of pregnancy we release hormones to control the development of our baby and also our own body. Hormones are chemical messengers; I like to think of them as little postmen, delivering messages to different parts of your body. Although this is scientifically completely incorrect and not fact in any way! There seems to be a postman specifically employed as soon as conceive thats like to deliver messages to your tear ducts.
You will find yourself crying for no reason, and when your partner asks ‘what’s wrong?’ It will be the first time in your life that the response ‘nothing’ is actually true! I often tell my husband ‘I don’t know why I’m crying so just ignore me please’. But there will be other times when you are crying your eyes out because you feel out of control or just so absorbed with worry that your baby is ok, the only thing you can do is cry. In this case I advise going full pelt, because you will feel much better afterwards.
Below I will share with you some of the reasons I found myself crying during both pregnancies. Some are silly and some serious.
Crying in the car – for some reason I cry when I’m in the car more than anywhere else. In my first pregnancy this was mainly down to feeling very sick when travelling. But I remember crying when my husband and I were going to visit his grandparents in London. We drove past the site of the Olympics in it very first stages of build. This made me cry….. er yes, cry like a baby as I explained to my husband how wonderful I thought Britain was and look how magnificent we were building all this stuff. Strange? Well they get stranger!
Just the other week I cried when my husband went into a petrol garage and I saw they were selling flowers. ‘Oh how wonderful’ I thought, and then cried. Now any woman knows that getting flowers from a petrol garage is not exactly the most romantic gesture your partner could make, it just means they have forgotten it is mother’s day, your birthday or your anniversary and have only just remembered, and the only place open is the petrol garage. Although the flowers are better than a bucket, sponge and screen wash, which is something my father in law once bought my mother in law after forgetting her birthday!
Food- I have done a lot of crying over food usually because I want to eat it but I just can get it past my lips.
At my cousins recent wedding they served up our main course of beef roast with so much meat it looked as though a cow had bungee jumped straight onto my plate, with an unfortunate end. Sitting at the table, staring into this plate of enormous cow and Yorkshire puds my eyes started to well up. When my oldest sister asked me what was wrong I couldn’t hold it in any longer. Bursting into tears I sobbed the words ‘my….. dinner…… is….. too……. big’. At which point both my sister and my mum burst out laughing! Fortunately for me I saw the funny side this time and had a mixture of tears and giggles.
Feeling selfish- as I have suffered equally as badly this time round as I did in my first pregnancy with sickness I’ve spent lots of time crying because of how ill I felt. But this time round I felt a real sense of guilt. I would often think and still do ‘I just want this to be over’. But every time I felt this I would never say it out loud. I spent my fist pregnancy pretty oblivious to possibility of miscarriage; it wasn’t even something I thought might happen. But this time round, after two of my sisters experiencing miscarriages and there being lots of media attention to Amanda Holden and Kelly Brook losing their babies after the so called twelve week safe mark. I had a great sense of ‘don’t be so selfish’. I had a fear that if I told some else that I wanted this feeling to go away it was like saying I don’t want this baby. This really bothered me and put me into a total feeling of self pity. Again this situation ending in crying. As I sat on the toilet at my parent in laws house my husband came to check I was ok. I must have been gone a long time. The flood gates opened and I explained to him how I was feeling and the worry and self pity I was experiencing. He told me it was ok to say what I feel to him and not to worry, but he also told me in a nice way to ‘get a grip!’ When you are crying uncontrollably this is sometimes the best advice.
I’m very lucky my husband is very good with me when I cry but there will be some men and women who won’t know what to do with you. If you want to be left alone say so and if you need a cuddle say so too. Other people aren’t mind readers although when you’re pregnant you seem to think everybody has developed the mind reading skill.
Scans- there is something wonderful about seeing your baby on the screen, seeing its heart beating and it wriggling around like James Brown. This too will make you cry.
Adverts- never ever will you feel the power of a heart string tugging advert more so than when you are pregnant. Just don’t sign up to give too many charities your money after seeing a child crying or a starving mother or you will be bankrupt before your own baby turns up. Then you will need the help of the charity you have been giving all your money too! Choose one charity and choose it wisely, this will help to make you feel better and leave you with enough cash to buy all the extra stuff you are going to need.
It’s your fault- you will also find yourself crying because you believe someone else, usually your other half has done something deliberately to annoy you. Only the chances are they have done nothing wrong at all. It is best to warn your other half that these out bursts are going to happen although you cannot predict when, and tell them the best thing they can do is agree and say sorry. Even if they didn’t do it. Once you have calmed down or possibly a week later you can discuss who was a t fault and you will probably find it was you. Oh dear swallow your pride and apologies.